Eduction

Education is a queer old thing isn’t it? It’s not good! browsing tedious websites, because they block off the good ones (I’m not talking about porn) passing the four hour gaps in between 45 minute lessons, starving hungry and penniless because the bus fares to the college are a frigging fiver… Who’s ever heard of being too OLD for a bus pass?!
College life. There’s a ham roll in my bag. Can’t eat it though I’m in the library more or less trapped. I could go down to the refectory but there’s only a quid in my pocket and that wont stretch further than a tub of (which is about 5, Wow!) grapes. White grapes, it’s like a slap in the face! Even if I did do that I’d be bored to death. I love my books but I don’t want to read here, I can only read in the bath. So that ideas humped!
My eyes hurt from staring at the computer, and I just caught a glimpse of my student ID photo which now makes me want to pluck them out. I look like the half ton son!
I suppose I’m in a state of limbo at the minute. I’ve reached that point in my life when I need to make some serious decisions (decisions which I should have made about 4 years ago when I was 17!) I feel as though I should be... running, racing towards A grades, portfolios and universities; achieving. But what for? For money? For status?
I don’t want work to consume me and take over my life, and before you say anything I’m not lazy with aspirations of a career on the dole and being crowned MS GIRO 2009!
I don’t know… I feel as though I want to be free, a job, my own place, time in the evenings to write and to read or to push the boat out and go buy a lottery ticket and a Tesco finest yoghurt, do some tai chi, stare at the stars, turn my flat into a makeshift casino and have a party, smoke a cigarillo should I take a fancying to such an activity - ok ok I’m transgressing, sorry - without the ghost of ‘presentations and essays yet to come’ looming over my shoulders. I’d love to be able to go to the beach or to the countryside at the weekend, not to be stuck typing up work that I don’t want to even do. I feel as though I’ve left it too late for further education, I don’t think I’d be clever enough anyways, 3 hours to complete a 45 min question… who am I kidding?!
I need a break I guess, I know that shop jobs are like gold dust nowadays but I can really picture myself in a snazzy little boutique somewhere. Or is that pure fantasy?
I’m not sure what I want but I do know that I don’t want a huge loan, trying to make ends meet (because I would be living in London) by cold eating spaghetti hoops out of a 15 pence can, one hoop on each finger just to save on gas and water bills!
The course I want to do isn’t easy either! 13 hours a day 6 days a week, do you know that people studying theatre have to work harder than those wanting to become lawyers?!
And to be perfectly frank, I don’t want anymore hard work. I’ve been drifting aimlessly around the education system for 5 years now… I think I’m ready to stop.
Its not that I don’t want to get on in life because I DO have ambitions, but sadly unspecified, a jumble of different fragments, it’s a Rubik’s cube I need to solve in order to look upon the complete picture. Write, perform, publish, analyze, create, make, and write again.

Gaps in between lessons

I suppose they get you thinking don’t they?


Oh god, I’m bored again now





1 hour to go before *ding ding* round 2 of Twelfth Night discussions















I suppose I could see what films are worth watching at the moment






























Still, in a few second I just know that the message ‘internet explorer has encountered an error and needs to close’ will pop up on the screen and the threadbare ties keeping me from madness will become instantly severed.